The List

This is a list I made of all the girls I've been interested in.  And no, I'm not sharing the list, however I will discuss why this was important.

So last night I was hanging out with some friends, and one of the girls at this place made the highly preposterous claim that SHE, a girl, has been friend zoned more than I.  Not just me, or a man, but I the nice guy.

BULLSHIT.

So we set out to prove who's love life is more pathetic.  Clearly I win, because let's be honest, I'm Ted Mosby, more on that later.  Well, this list evolved into a chronicling of every girl I've ever been attracted to.  Let me tell you, this list is rather long.  It really goes to show how much of a hopeless romantic I've always been.

But wait, there's more!

Then the list further evolved we started color-coding all the people based on the devastation level of being friend zoned.

Green = No big deal, quickly get over it and move on.

Yellow = Ok, that sucked.  Definitely did not want that to happen but at least the world isn't over.

Red = The world is definitely over, that was bad.

It was cool to see my rather long list become color-coded like this.  It showed me how I really felt about these women after time has passed and I've been able to reconcile my feelings.   It showed me that seemingly traumatizing break-ups were microcosmal in significance, especially when compared to other relationships.  It showed that I have loved and lost more times than I really wanted to know.

It sucks.

Last night I also watched "Crazy, Stupid Love" (which if you've never seen it, it is fantastic) and in this movie they discussed the idea of soulmate.  That one true love that you know immediately she/he is meant for you and there is no one else on the planet that will fill that role for you.

The most important thing about this list is the realization that I have not yet met my soulmate.  I say this because when going through the list there were moments that I got nostalgic, but I didn't have that moment just staring at one single name, unable to think about anything else, as if all the other names on the page were blurry except for that one name.  This did not happen.  And because this did not happen, no soulmate is on this page.

It is the realization that even after all of this dating, friend zoning, break-ups, relationships, that I have not met my soulmate.  This list gives me hope, it means that I have not missed some window that I was supposed to jump through.  It shows me that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I need to keep walking to the other side to see what all the hubbub is about.

Go lists.  I implore you all to do this because it was incredibly cathartic for me and I'm really glad I did this.