Gaming Addiction

Yeah.. it's a thing.  And it is happening to me.  Damn Star Trek Online!

So, I'm really into games.

LIKE REALLY INTO GAMES.

I love them.  They are an escape in rough times.  They are a vacation in a mundane schedule.  They are a journey to far off places, exotic lands and  far more exciting activities than the real world.

However, they are also extremely addicting.

This week I developed an understanding for why MMOs are so completely addictive.  Star Trek Online went Free-2-Play on Tuesday and needless to say it has consumed my life.  In 3 days I managed to log 24 hours of game time.

Are you F*&#ing kidding me.  How did I even do this?

What's horrible is that I honestly don't recall where all the time in the day went.  You see, I've been a hardcore gamer for years, but this was something new.  I completely have no recollection of where my days have gone other than school and the occasional sleep.

Sleep is the other thing.  I haven't been doing any of it.  It's beginning to get to me.  Even as I'm writing this it is almost 3 AM, so I imagine I will probably just crash Saturday night and hopefully catch up on some sleep.

I never really thought I had a gaming addiction problem until this week when I played STO.  I definitely have a problem.  And I need to get it under control if I want to graduate because it will get in the way of everything.  The problem is that I am not disciplined enough to control myself.  Every person I've talked to about this in the last couple of days has said that I need to get a girlfriend so perhaps that what I need to be working for.

But as I also learned tonight that I'm a chickenshit when it comes to women.  I've lost all the confidence I used to have, I can't even make a simple move.  It's pretty pathetic.  I mean, if I could apply even a microcosm of the skill I have in gaming towards other tasks in everyday life I would be set.  But alas, life doesn't work that way.

It's a dilemma.  I need a girlfriend but I kinda suck with women.  I'm great at gaming but it is an addiction that will be my doom.

Well shit.

I've always been told to do things I'm good at, so I suppose I should just keep gaming until something good happens.  Not a great course of action, in fact, it's no different than what I've already been doing.  But at least this way, I'm being honest with myself.

And on that note, I'm going to sleep.