A Note to My Friends

This is for everyone who tries to hang out with me in which I usually bail or never call you to hang out.  I promise it's not because I hate you.  Sorry if I offend anyone, which I'm sure I will, but I don't care.


So I guess I'm difficult to hang out with.  People ask me to hang out, or try to plan things with me and it usually doesn't work out.

Here's why:

I like to think of my life as talk show.  I am Conan.  Conan has regulars on the show, like Andy Richter and his band, etc., etc.  Well, my regulars are a very particular group of people.

The Regulars:

Jessie Keefe
Mike Dymond
Casey Sorensen
CJ Teramoto
Josh Birch

I'm sorry if you didn't make the cut but this is kind of how it is.  Now, it's not to say that Conan doesn't have special guests, because he definitely does, which is kind of how I view my other friends.  As much as I would like to hang out with everyone all the time, I tend to gravitate towards these five individuals.  For a couple reasons for each of them.

Jessie -- she is my best friend after CJ, she has ALWAYS been there for me, and cares about me so that gets her regular status.

Mike -- Jessie's boyfirend, so he receives an automatic in, plus, he was a former best friend so he has seniority.

Casey -- Casey gets me.  We actually have fun when we hang out and we are similar in a lot of ways.  Plus, she is already part of the Team Mike+Jessie

CJ -- THE best friend.  Enough said.  20+ years of friendship

Josh -- I'm not really sure why.  He is kind of ass, hard to get a hold of, even more difficult to hang out with.  Probably because he generally gives me amazing advice, especially the kind that I might not want to hear but need to hear.  And, he's moderately entertaining.

Now, as for the "guests," I'm sorry.  I do try to hang out with others but it is awfully difficult.  It is sort of implied that I hang out with the regulars every weekend.  If I never call to hang out, don't feel bad.  Because chances are, I've also NOT called other people as well, in favor of hanging out with the regulars.  My best advice if you seek admission into my inner circle is to integrate yourself with the regulars.

EDIT -- I'm also kind of an asshole, or so I've been told by not one but many people.  Of notable mention, a particularly malicious ex girlfriend who complains that I never talk to her anymore because A) she has a boyfriend, B) We have nothing to talk about, C) She's a bitch, and D) I say "Hi" and "Hello" to her in the hall which is more than most receive from me.

So again, I apologize to all my friends for my shitty friendship.  I'm really not trying to be this way, it sort of just happens.